My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
