They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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