Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
