He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
my poor anus
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
