Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
