I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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