He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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