I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
