Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
