No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
