Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
