i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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