Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
