why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
