Sponge bath it is.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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