dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
if only i could text you this smell
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
