just come out here and I will go home with you...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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