This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
