Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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