i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
