Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Let's get the cat blown out
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
