I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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