I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Randomize
