At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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