Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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