How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
