I just cut my nipple shaving
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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