well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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