I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
