Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
