what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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