So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
