babies were throwing up all over the place
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
