This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We just shotgunned beers for America
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
