So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
