i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
