...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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