I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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