when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
