Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
