So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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