i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
