Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
