I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
