Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
