NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
