Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
