I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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