Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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