So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
